Ξ February 27th, 2004 | → Comments Off | ∇ General |
I feel pretty accomplished today. Not only did I work on the websites, I took Iggy for a long walk to the bookstore, did dishes, cleaned the kitchen counter, jogged two miles on the dreadmill, stretched for 15 minutes, and did some weights for 10 minutes. My home exercise routine has been very consistent lately and I feel good about that. On top of doing my home routine 5 days a week I also train 3-4 days a week. I just like to be active. Sitting in front of a computer all day doesn’t do much for your health.
I just stepped out of the shower about 10 minutes ago. I have two favorite soaps, a lavendar soap that is sold at The Bay, and a sandalwood soap that I get in Chinatown. I used the sandalwood soap tonight, it makes me smell particularly yummy.
I brought up in my last posting that I’ve been putting the dating feelers out there. My primary goal is to make some new friends, but on top of that I’m open to developing a close secondary relationship with someone. That’s a pretty big change for me, considering I hadn’t really considered it seriously for the last 2 years.
Once I started thinking about dating, all sorts of thoughts crossed my mind. Much of it you really can’t plan, expect, or worry about, but there are certain things that kind of that have to be mentioned to anyone I might be interested in. It’s actually more about what I can and can’t offer as opposed to what I’m looking for.
I can’t offer monogamy. I am not interested in changing my living arrangements. I do not want to be a parent. I am also very focused on my business and my training, so I don’t have loads of free time. I also have a no bad drama rule. There’s good drama and bad drama. Good drama is a great bdsm scene, laughing riotously and soemthing funny, or tousling for fun. Bad drama is excessive clinginess, poor communication, and general emotional mayhem that seems to be engaged in ‘just for the hell of it’.
That’s about it, really.
On the other hand, I’m caring, cuddly, and I smell good. Thats a good place to start. I’ve always thought hygeine was important. I’m also a good listener and a loyal friend.
So while I’m not ‘looking’ per se, I’ve definitely decided that I am open to the possibility if something was to come up.
So now you’re wondering.. men or women? I guess time will tell!
Ξ February 25th, 2004 | → Comments Off | ∇ General |
What a day! I got so much accomplished I can hardly believe it. I did updates on three of the sites, organized paperwork, started a new business proposal, redesigned some of the members area for dominaction, caught up with financial mumbo jumbo, and ran on the terrormill. I only stopped long enough to cook dinner and eat it.
I need to get some serious slouching in tomorrow. I will go work out around noon, then I have a lunch date with a friend, and I’ll relax in the evening. I’ll have to do some work in there somewhere, but I’ll be moderate about it.
Ok, my next entry will be about my foray into the dating world. But right now it’s 2:45am and I want to ge to sleep so I can get shit done tomorrow.
Ξ February 23rd, 2004 | → Comments Off | ∇ General |
It’s been a hectic few days! The last 3 days have been order in heaven! On Thursday a friend came over to hang out and talk about us designing a website for her new business, and we ordered in chinese food. On Friday our friend lush came over and we went out to the beer & wine store and picked up some beer for the evening, and when we got back home we ordered in pizza, salad, and hot wings. On Saturday we went and did a three hour photo shoot in a fantastic dungeon space. We had a fantastic time. I was the photographer, and Katt played with her out of town bottom, Rocky.
Katt is a hard core beeatch let me tell you. She clamped huge clamps on his nipples, then hung a 5lb weight from them, and then proceeded to attach a 15lb weight to his ball parachute and hang it! To finish the session off, she put him in a dentists chair and pierced his penis and nipples, and THEN inserted medical sounds into his eutethra.
Then we picked up sushi and came back to our place after we were done!
Needless to say we didn’t end up going to the rascals party. Katt’s bottom Rocky went, as did Katt’s assistant, Papillon, but we stayed home and rested.
The photos turned out fantastic. We’v realized that we are in desperate need of two things though to make our photographs better. A good flash, and a tall tripod. Both will make shooting in low light easier so we don’t have to worry about bluirry photos, or hptotos becoming too washed out. That’s on the WANT list for next month.
I am SUCH a good photographer. I kick ass. I really should enter some of my photos into artistic porn fetishy type exhibits. They’d have to be labeled a joint effort between Katt and I because she photo shops them to get the end product, but hey, I like to share.
I had the most amazing sleep I’ve had in months last night. On a whim I decided to try one of Katt’s meds that helps her sleep (very safe), at half the dose she would use if she needed it. Holy fuck I didn’t wake up even once. The problem was is that when I woke up, I felt stoned the whole goddamn day! It could have been the fact that I had a 2 beers just over 3 hours before I took the medication, but I’m not gonna try again either which way. Not unless I really need to sleep, anyways(and without the beer)! I don’t need to deal with the crappy balance and world ’squishiness’ again any time soon. Bleh!
This upcoming week is going to be either calm or busy. I know I have a lunch date on Wednesday afternoon. Other than my regular workouts I don’t remember what else I am supposed to do. It’ll come to me. One of those days i go on a search for burgundy pvc/pleather or leather. Haha.. HAHAHAHA…. BUAHAHAHAHA!
Be scared.
This week has really gone by quickly. I noticed yesterday that besides time seeming to pass more quickly, the world seems to have a very surreal quality to it lately. It’s almost as if I’m walking through water and everything around me has that distortion that you get from looking through swim goggles.
Let’s see, I worked out every day this week except tax day. After my workout on Wednesday evening I popped over to a bdsm munch to pick up Katt and her boys on the way home. My workout today was truncated slightly by a sore back which thankfully coincided with chatting with a friend. I’m not sure what it is but my lower back gets incredibly sore occasionally, usually when walking and sometimes when I work out. It’s nasty because it limits my ability to rotate my torso; and it hurts. So far I’m just continuing to do ab strenthening and lower back exercises. No appreciable difference yet, but any extra exercise will only help.
Saturday during the day will be quite hectic. We have a photo shoot to do that afternoon. Saturday evening I may be going to Rascal’s monthly play party with the girl and some friends. Perhaps I’ll go and practice my social skills.
I’ve been thinking about going to some live music clubs in town. Unfortunately, I don’t know which clubs are the best to listen to good blues. I should check out live music listings online for club reviews. When we were in Chicago in ‘97 we spent 8 hours in school during the day and 6 hours at the blues club in the evening. The music was amazing. I’d love to be able to find some raunchy dirty down home Chicago style blues in town.
So life is good. There’s nothing particularly exciting happening, but on the other end there’s nothing particularly stressfull happening either. I’m continuing to work on my image as a mean S.O.B. which unfortunately stops working when people talk to me. I can’t fake being mean so well. But I’m still very good at not acknowledging people and giving people the ‘brush off’ by not following through with eye contact.
It’s scary, I’m turning in to my parents!
I’m actually thinking of perhaps taking a drama course or something to get over my unreasonable discomfort with talking to new people. Put me in front of a group and I am a whiz bang, but get me one on one and I am pretty much very quiet. I don’t do well with small talk, I find it utterly boring. Listening to a gaggle of turkeys is more appealing than listening to people talk about the weather. I want to hear about what people are passionate about. I want to talk about what I am passionate about. So much of conversation nowadays is what I think of as filler; most of us aren’t comfortable when our lips aren’t flapping and our vocal chords aren’t vibrating. We speak to fill time and space; we speak because we are comforted by the sound of our own voice. We’re a culture that talks all the time but says essentially nothing. It’s either that or the language we use is so specialized that only a fraction of us can actually understand it (try reading the financial part of the newspaper sometimes, what a bunch of utter gobbledeygook). Anyways, I got side tracked.
I’m working on being more amiable and approachable, as I’ve been mentioning for the last 3.5 years in this journal space. My friends all tell me that I’m a big old cuddly bear and that I only appear to be distant and snobbish to people who don’t know me. Such a comfort, really. Actually, what it all comes down to, besides my need for communication, is my need to feel safe. Safety is HUGE for me. I think stepping outside of my comfort zone would be a good thing, hence thinking of a drama course.
Anyways. Gaggling off.
“You must have chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.”?Friedrich Nietzsche
Ξ February 17th, 2004 | → Comments Off | ∇ General |
The evil taxes are done for another year. Man I hate taxes. It took us 4 hours to get it all done between the time we spent at the tax preparers office and the time we spent at the bank getting RRSP’s. Retirement? We decided it would be a good idea to start contributing to RRSPs this year. I don’t want to get to retirement age and not have a decent income. So it turned out well today; we took care of last year and started planning for next year.
Other than that, there is not a lot going on. I’ve been doing a lot of work on the websites, working out a fair bit, and reading a lot. The treadmill is getting used too, but damn it takes up a lot of space. We have a photo shoot tomorrow and I am trying to think about the best way to organize around the treadmill. I think I’ll let Katt worry about it.
I’m looking forward to spring arriving. I see the shoots from the Irises coming up in our garden outside so spring can’t be far away!
Ξ February 15th, 2004 | → Comments Off | ∇ General |
I love apocalypse theories. I didn’t expact you to actually want me to answer my somehwat rhetorical question, Maggie, but I’ve given it a few days thought and expounded a bit on some of my feelings about the end of the world.
The end of the world would be exciting, not in a “let’s go play Mario bros” kind of way, but in a profoundly deep world changing epic kind of way. Apocalypse theories have the same draw to me that the Tower card has in Tarot decks. The tower indicates profound change, not neccessarily good or bad change, but PROFOUND change. Life is going to change profoundly in one way or another as the years, decades, centuries, and millenia pass and I find it very interesting to speculate the myriad of ways in which life could change.
There are many different apocalypse theories and each is unique. The end of the world is spelled out in the Book of Revelation. The christian bible has is spelled out in detail the seven signs of the apocalypse. It’s fascinating! Scholars scour Nostradamus’ prophecies to find the ultimate cause of the end of the world. Religious theories are by far the most interesting theories of the end of the world. Not being a religious person, I tend to view them with a lot of skepticism. I don’t have that ability for blind faith.
The theories that truly interest me are not the end of the world deity is judging humanity life after death theories. The theories that I pay attention to are the ones that look a the economic, social, political, and agricultural situation in the world and the predictions about how lack of resources, shifts in political ideologies, and a global economic crash could affect life on this lvoely blue planet we live on.
Truly, what will happen when we run out of fossil fuels? What will happen if the united states continues the foreign policy trend it has been following? What will happen when the developing superpowers, China for example, start to take a more active involvement in the world. It’s simply fascinating to look at human stupidity and guess at how the world is going to change because of it.
When I was a child I had dreams(sleeping ones) that the world would go through a major social and economic upheaval that started with the larger world powers taking reources from the smaller countries until the smaller countries in the world started warring with each other for competition what resources were left. Eventually the pinch for resources was felt in the world powers countries and they started becoming more aggressive in competition for the remaining resources.
I’m a pragmatic optimist. I believe that human beings have the ability to create solutions to the problems we have created by being… well… human - BUT - most do not choose to use that ability. I see the global climate that exists and it’s often not encouraging. The people that have the economic and political power are those who have not learned from the mistakes of history and they continue to repeat them.
Who really knows what will happen. It is a given that we’ll eventually run out of fossil fuels. Will we find something to replace them to avert an energy crisis? I have no idea. It’s interesting to speculate, but often I’ve noticed that human beings pull their shit together enough at the last moment to come up with at least a partial solution.
It’s also interesting to speculate what I would do *if* there was such a social/economic/war/political upheaval that meant vast world change, increased competition for diminished resources, and general lack of centralized goverment. Where would be the best place to go? Would people be nice and form communities for protection or would it be every person for his/her self? What would happen to the population? How would life change?
I also find it interesting to speculate what would happen if human beings finally got their shit together and the wonderful advances that could be made for every beings benefit. While fun to speculate, I’m not sure it’s realistic.
It’s all about CHANGE. I find change fascinating. And change, depending on one’s perspective, can be a positive or negative thing. I choose to find change positive. However life changes I will continue to adapt and live my life the best I can. When it comes right down to it there’s not a damn thing I can do to stop change - I can only choose to adapt to it. I do my best to be as well rounded a person as possible for any eventuality.
Ξ February 14th, 2004 | → Comments Off | ∇ General |
I’ve just started to upload over 115 megabytes of photos to the foot fetish website. Yowsers. Katt has been working her pretty ass off to try to get the galleries organized and ready to go, and I’ve been processing them and now uploading them in one swell foop. Hopefully footfetish members will enjoy them.
I’ve been slowly reading “Time enough for love” by Heinlein over the last week. It is certainly a very interesting book, and much ahead of it’s time in terms of issues raised in the book. He created a nice little world with no, or few perhaps, sexual or romantic tabboos. Any time I read a forum on polyamory I always see a few peoplepipe up that their first exposure to multiple partners came through reading Heinlein. His books had an effect on people he may not have forseen. Ah well, I enjoy them. They’re suitably fluffy for bedtime reading.
There’s really not that much to talk about. Life has pretty much revolved around website work, laundry, visiting family, eating, training, and sleeping. Katt has been under the weather due to a cold the last few days. We are hoping togo to Sin City tomorrow night if she feels better. If not, there’s a lovely evening of photo updates, PPV movies, and popcorn ahead of us. I’ll also go for a run on the treadmill tomorrow for 30-45 minutes. I run a 12-15 minute mile - I’m slow - but I hope to work that up to about a 6-9 minute mile. And I hope to increase my run time to a full hour. All within the next month and a half. It’ll help my cardio immensely, and as a side benefit it’ll burn some fat. The key is to stay in the right target range for my heartbeat.
Our photo shoot for Sunday was canceleld because one of our models got called to work. I’m thinking I may have Katt take some photos of me on Sunday instead. We haven’t done photos together, both of us in the photo, for a long time. In order to do good photos of the two of us we really need to have a third person to take photos that knows what he/she is doing. Otherwise we end up with poor quality ‘amateur porn’ instead of high quality artistic amateur porn. So we’re keeping out ears open for such a person.
I have to decide what kind of photos I want to do of myself. Ok.. ideas folks. What kinds of solo photos of men turn you on? What kind of photo would you stop and take a second look at if you saw it online? If I like your ideas I may use them, because I can!
Ξ February 12th, 2004 | → Comments Off | ∇ General |
It was a fun day today. I went and visited my family and got to hang with my niece. I also was able to bring the treadmill home. Gah it’s huge. I knew it was going to be a tight fit, but it takes up almost our WHOLE fucking floor downstairs.
The idea behind the treadmill is that Katt wants to use it to get in good enough shape to start training again. And while it’s here I’ll also take advantage of it. It’s top speed is 10mph, so I should get some good use out of it. Once she’s done with it, then we’ll sell it. But for now it’s a means to and ned.
I posted a photo of my niece and me in my private jounral. She’s adorable!
Ξ February 11th, 2004 | → Comments Off | ∇ General |
Feitsh Quiz - http://monetsgarden.net/fquiz/fetishquiz.html
My results - You prefer mostly females, but some males catch your interest. You tend to be dominant. This will impact the interpretation of your various sexual interests. Possibly left over from your childhood experiences is your interest in spanking. You enjoy slapping others, and the color a submissive’s skin turns. Spanking is not child’s play to you. It holds a deep place in your fantasies. You enjoy using rope, straps, etc., to restrain others during sex play … it’s a thrill for you to see them unable to move and completely helpless. You probably have quite a collection of bondage gear ready to use right now. You enjoy humiliating others. The thought of humiliation strongly appeals to you, though you may not know why. Creating a sensation on someone else through use of various toys appeals to you. Your interest in sensations can be light or it can get bloody hard — literally. But you enjoy it all the same. You become aroused when you reveal information about yourself, or perform a sex act in a public or semi-public setting. You tend to enjoy sexual activities in groups, such as threesomes or orgies. You enjoy playing with gags. Specifically, using them to keep those ‘under you’ from talking much. You may enjoy thoughts of inserting a hand or fist into the body of your sexual partner. What else can be said? You enjoy getting yourself off. Don’t we all? You enjoy regulating the breathing of your sexual partner. You are turned on when you can control this most basic human function.
(more…)
Check this out - http://www.lifeaftertheoilcrash.net/Index.html
He’s used a lot of propaganda speak to dramatize his issue, and unfortunately not much science or backup for his theory - but it raises some interesting questions.
addendum: I love apocalypse theories. Ask me why some time.
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