Calico : The Dominatrix Next Door

I really enjoyed reading her blog, so much so that I gave it my pick on janesguide and have linked to it on my own blog.  Calico is a dominatrix and fetish model from NYC and she uses her blog to talk about her experiences as a sex worker and her own personal fetish interests.  I like that she talks about what it is like to be a sex worker and how perceptions of sex workers don’t match the reality. She also talks about her own interests and how the can be quite divergent from her work as a dominatrix.

She writes extremely well, and I found her to be really engaging and interesting.  She speaks on topics I’ve dealt with, and spoken about,  myself as  someone in the sex industry.  In my case, I’ve modeled, been a photographer, done pro dom sessions, and run a private kink club, and dealt with the misperceptions of those who don’t understand what we do.

Her site is a great read.  I encourage you to check it out.

Now the update…

We took a time off of running parties in our dungeon this month.   Katt’s health has been poor for the last 6 weeks or so and we decided that some time to ourselves was in order while she was going through the initial stages of diagnosis.  We are waiting for speicalists appointments still.  It takes a while.  The two different ideas that are being bandied about are an autoimmune issue which may resolve itself over time, or alternatively fibromyalgia, which is a chronic condition.  Until she sees a specialist we can;t say for sure what is going on.  We are hoping it is autoimmune and that it will go away on it’s own, but we are prepared if it happens to be something else.

Starting September we’ll be throwing parties as normal.  We don’t really make anything from the parties, we break even, but the spin offs from people seeing the space and later wanting to rent the space for private use is a real benefit to us.  It will be awesome to have people here and using the space again.

A major development for me – I am now a reviewer at Janes Guide!   I’ve been friendly with the folks over at Janes Guide since I first entered the adult internet business in 2000 and am really stoked to be a part of such a well respected site and working with people I have a lot of respect for.  *does a happy dance*

We had planned on breeding Luna, our newest female pug, but we decided not to in the end.  The risk of complications with squishy faces dogs giving birth is quite high, and we didn’t want to risk anything bad happening to Luna;  we love her too much!  So as soon as she finished her heat we’re going to have her spayed.

The shop roof doesn’t leak.  We had 3 days of rain this week and the roof was water tight.  It’s gratifying to know that I did a good job on it.  If we stay here more than another few years I will have to re roof the house.  In the meantime I am going to put moss killer on the roof and take the moss off once it dies.  That should extend the life of the roof.

We have been throwing ideas around as to what we plan on doing for the next 2 years and 2 months.  The original plan was to live in this house until Oct 2009 and decide whether we’d stay here or sell and move somewhere else.  Depending on what happens with Katt’s health and our finances we have though of potentially moving earlier.   We’ll stay here as long as we can afford to financially, emotionally, and health wise.  Hopefully for at least another 2 years and 2 months!  I like living in Chilliwack.  Our neighbors are great, we’re close to our friends and family, and we’re so close to nature.  I also really love our leisure centre.  It is the best one I’ve been to in any city across the country.

I’d better be off to bed.  Need my gnarly sleep and all.

The double flogging work shop put on by Jason was amazing!   The workshop attendees learned a lot of tips and tricks about how to use two floggers at once, and they were entertained by the demo with Katt bottoming for Jason during the workshop.

The pinata seemed to be a real hit.  It was made by a really talented local craftswoman that created it from a description from Katt.  The result, as you can see, is a very hot male torso complete with a HUGE cock and a nice round ass.  I think there was some penis envy going on that night.

Eventually, the pinata broke after 6 or 7 people gave it some really hard whacks with various dungeon implements.  The part that broke on the pinata, ironically enough, was it’s ass!
The play party after the workshop was really hopping.   We had multiple rope suspension scenes, double flogging scenes, and many other hot duos and trios playing!  Katt bottomed all night long, eventually wearing out two flogging tops.  That’s my girl!

For our next events on July 14 we are having a BBQ in the afternoon, complete with Oil wrestling and a pie baking contest, followed by the regularly scheduled En Femme which starts at 7pm.

I lost the use of my computer for 3 days because of a virus.  Going 3 days without a computer is rather hellish, especially when I have a lot of work to do.  E-mail is also an essential part of my existence.  I spent muchof Wednesday re-installing all my programs and data.  Much hassle.

An extra monthly bill has popped up that is rather unfortunate and will make our budget quite tight.

We got a pretty Fisher’s Lovebird a few weeks ago.  He is quite bitey and we’ve been working hard to make him more tame and less flesh nouchy.

We took the pugs to the vet early this week for annual shots and to get Luna’s and Bella’s ears looked at.  They had been scratching at them for a few days and they seemed to be sore.  It turns out they both had ear infections, so we got ear drops and antibiotics from them.

I’ve been working out fairly regularly and am feeling much more fit than I have been for a while.  My tolerance of the eliptical trainer has gone down from beng able to be on it for 5 mins to only 20 mins.  My feet go completely numb at the 20 minute mark.  Wierd.  So I do the elliptical for 20 then I run on the dreadmill until I am done.  Then I lift weights for 30-45 mins and follow it up with a hot tub and swim.

I go in for a vasectomy in early July.  Katt has no uterus, I know, but I do occasionally have other sexual partners and I want no chance of making babies.

We’ve changed En femme to the second Saturday of the month rather than the second friday.  I think Saturday is a better day, since most people have Saturday as their party night.  This En Femme looks to be quite well attended.

My PA is one of the best sexual enhancement devices I have ever used.  The five seconds of pain was definitely worth it.  I am at a 10g piercing right now and will try to gradually stretch it to a 6g.  Once I am at 6g I will hopefully be able to afford a Prince’s Wand.  It looks like an amazing little urethra stim unit that will have benefits for one’s partner as well.

Katt has a live in houseboy now.  He is a cool guy and seems to dote on her.  He sleeps on a little pet mattress by her side of our bed.

I still need a half decent lawnmower.

I have switched from regular coke to coke zero, thus cutting my calorie intake considerably and my waistline has shrunk as an added bonus.

Our personal and corporate taxes are now done for 2006.  Eeeeeeevil!  And expensive.  But my accountant is teh HAWESOME and does am amazing job for me.

I can haz cheesburger?

I love my life!

I spent today resting.  We had folks come for our B&B after the party that wanted to spend some time learning some tricks of the trade from Katt so we’ve been crazy busy.  It was nice to do nothing today.

It’s back to work tomorrow though.  I’ve got site updates to do, a lawn to mow, and a post dungeon party house to clean.

The first night I bled quite a lot, and last night not much at all. I spent most of the day yesterday doing bleeding management. Today I’ve been able to go our and cut the lawn and run errands without any major issues. I do have to make sure I adjust myself properly though so the piercing doesn’t rub against my underwear too much. If the piercing rubs, it moves, and it feels pretty durned intense.

I’m not supposed to have sex until it heals. The main issue with that is making sure I don’t get bodily fluid that is not my own on the wound. This prevents infection and helps speed healing. As soon as I am healed over enough, I’m going to make use of the plentiful condoms in my home, and try it out!

The piercing is supposed to stretch fairly naturally over time, anywhere up to an 8 or 6 guage piece of jewelery. There are so many amazing pieces of jewelery you can use too. *drools* I am looking forward to going up to a bigger piece of jewelery in.

I was really nervous about getting pierced; especially with getting a genital piercing.  Once I decide to do something though, I get it DONE.  Once it was my turn to go I just laid down and let Elwood do his thing.  Well, do his thing on MY thing.  The receiving tube in the urethra was no biggie.  It felt just like sounding.  The poke itself, the needle going through my skin and urethra, hurt like a motherfucker.  In fact, that is what I vocalized quite loudly, “Motherfucker!”.

I bled a fair bit after the piercing and, in fact, still am bleeding on and off now.  There isn’t really any pain anymore, but it does feel pinchy every now and again if the ring gets moved or bumped when I walk.

I’m crashing pretty hard now.   If I wasn’t worried about bleeding on the bed, I’d be in bed now.  I have to remember to get some gauze and wrap myself up a bit so my bed stays bloodless.

The only thing I am not looking forward to is peeing.  It is going to hurt a LOT to pee.  On the plus side, urine is sterile and  will clean the wound out and help it heal faster,

Anyways… I am seriously crashing and need to get warm.  For all the endorphins that I got during the piercing, I’m sooooooo tired and shaky now.

So off to bed I go.

We went out and had sushi for dinner on my birthday, and I bought a fruit flan for dessert. I love flans. I used to have one almost every year when I was in my teens. On Friday we had our first Raven’s Retreat En Femme Friday party. It was my birthday party as well as a public event. It went really well.

I wore a dress for the first time -ever-. I’ve been told for, let me see, YEARS, that I’d look good in one; a gender fuck as it were. A very masculine me, not trying to look anything but masciline, in a dress. Who knew I’d look so hot.

Who knew. The look was a big hit. I got lots of compliments and even some leg humping. Not too shabby.

It was a smallish party, so Katt and I were able to play together. I have been experimenting with sounds. Sounds are nice. New genital sensations are always a good thing. At larger parties we tend to be busier hosting, so having some public play time was nice.

I have been attempting to be a little more open to trying new things. I can be somewhat stubborn about.. err.. change… and about my interpretations about what my role is and how I perceive myself. I can let myself be the focus of attention without feeling guilty. That’s a big one for me.

There has been some change in relationship status for me as well. I had been dating someone until just recently when I decided that I would make a better friend than a boyfriend. The decision really had nothing to do with the person I was dating at all, they are really cool, sweet, and attractive. I am just not up to that level of intensity in my life at the moment. I really don’t like to hurt people, but I can’t be where I’m not. I do enjoy their company a lot though and hope we can remain close friends.

So yeah, as always the birthday has been a very introspective time for me. More later though. It’s late and I am sleepy.

In this case the last few weeks have been a real blast. Last weekend we had a guest come up to send the weekend with Katt and I in the dungeon. We had a real blast and got to try out all sorts of new toys we hadn’t tried before. We’ve decided we need to get some electrical toys as soon as we can afford them. Wow. No dungeon is complete without e-stim kits!

We spent the latter part of the week with a new friend. She’s a lovely young lady with a strong submissive and masochist side. Both Katt and I were pleased that there was mutual interest on her part to spend time together and explore some possibilities. She is quite intelligent, and is very very cuddly, both of which are plusses in my book. She also likes to be bitten, one of my all time number ONE favorite things to do! Neither Katt or I are in a rush, so we’re really taking the time to get to know her and see what she wants and what we want and move from there. Wow, were being patient. How novel!  I really think she’s very awesome and am very much looking forward to getting to know her better.

I’ll be doing a Duct Tape Workshop for Fly this month(Mar 24: workshop @ 7 pm, party starts @ 8pm). I have been doing Duct tape Mummifcation and creating duct tape clothing for about 6 years so it’ll be a lot of fun to show people how they can use duct tape to spice up their kink and sex life. The party is guest listed, so if you want to get on the list, visit The Raven’s Retreat and send us an e-mail to get an invite.

The Raven’s Retreat is in full swing now. We offer dungeon rental, Pro sessions with Katt or myself (or both), and we offer The Retreat as a B&D B&B. This is in addition to our monthly parties. You can sign up for our newsletter on The Raven’s Retreat site for more information about upcoming events.

I spent most of today cleaning and working. Finances are very tight so I’ve been spending a lot of time revamping the websites so that we can try to get more money coming in. We lost a lot of business while travelling so we’re really trying to build the business back up to a decent level. We’ve been creating lots of new content again, so our paysite members should have a lot to keep their attention. After the revamp we’ll also focus more on marketing. Marketing is so essential for success these days.

And with that, off to proof read the newsletter!

The anchor for the St Andrews cross has been anch’ed, suspension points have been put in the joists, and anchors have been put in the wall.

My list of things completed today:

• bought a new, sexier, medical table
• moved my tools from the basement and garage into the shop.
• installed a dimmer switch in the dining room
• installed a 3 way switch in the entry hall.
• cleaned off the deck
• hung art in the living room and dining room
• lots of web work
• organized the linen closet
• cleaned the nursery
• washed laundry

Things left to do:

• more art to hang
• pressure wash deck
• industrial house cleaning
• add anchor points to space chair
• bring new medical table to dungeon
• bring old medical table upstairs into the garage
• touch up/repaint portions of dungeon floor
• buy drinks and munchies and napins and paper plates
• print house rules and dungeon info

It’s looking good.  My least favorite part is the cleaning, but it’s neccessary.

Other things I’d like to accomplish.  Get Laid.  Many Times.

I am really happy to be having our own space again.  In particular I’m excited about having a dungeon/play space, and I’m really excited about being able to entertain and have parties.  That’ll rock.  Of course, that won’t be happening until after Katt recovers from surgery.  She gets vivisected on the 17th and will spend 4-7 days in hospital recovering.  Hysterectomies are a pretty intensive surgery and it takes a very long time to recover from.  In the long term, there will be a few benefits for her though from having had a hysterctomy.  She’ll never bleed again, and she’ll never ever be able to get pregnant.  It also seems she’ll keep her ovaries, which is very good.  On a related note, I’m #1 in google for the search term “fibrous uterine growth”.  Another downside to the hysterectomy is lack of sex!  In the grand scheme of things it’s not a big deal, but it kind of sucks because Katt’s sex drive had started to come back quite strongly after a long time of being almost non existent and we were starting to rebuild that intimacy again which was really nice.  Anyone who knows me knows how much I adore her and am completely stricken by lust for her.

It’s funny, one of the reasons the kind of poly we’ve done over the last 4-5 years hasn’t worked for us is because we dated separately during that period of time.  My partners always felt that Katt was and is my main focus and that created an imbalance in that way.  I enjoy being with Katt.  We spend most of our days together and our lives are really integrated with each other.  No matter how much we loved our other partners, there was just no way we could manage that level of equality purely from the fact that Katt and I had 15 years of history and goals as a couple that wanted to accomplish.  I couldn’t be one of those poly people that moves between 3 or more different partners.  To me it would feel like I was moving in a different direction than I wanted.  I enjoy spending time with Katt.  I guess I am one of those people that bonds really strongly to their partner.  I can’t imagine my life without her.  When you try to take someone else into that equation it can really become a challenge.  Of course, there are different levels of relationships as well that wouldn’t require that level of enmeshment, and thats what we’ll likely do in the future.  For myself, that means casual kink play and perhaps having a fuckbuddy or three.  I don’t have any plans for any more romantic poly relationships.  The kind of relationships we are really more interested in are power exchange (d/s) relationships.  We’re a dominant kinky couple and we don’t want anyone to have equal say.  That was a wee tangent, but something we’ve been talking about a lot.

One of the first things we’ll do tomorrow is buy paint and dog proof the fence in the back yard.  Wow.  We have a back yard.  The dogs will love that.  It’s not very private at the moment, but thats something we can worry about next year.  We have family lined up with plant donations, so I’m sure we can come up with something.
I’d better try to sleep.  I am starting to get too foggy to type coherently.

It was an interesting day; two of my friends commented that they’d been cruising my website recently and mentioned my genitals. I like my genitals. They work quite well for me.

I want to look for some sexy, yet comfortable, fetish wear soon. The leather is great in winter; in the summer it’s not so good.

I slept in today thanks to a lovely marmot that took the puppies for a walk this morning! I almost didn’t go to the gym, but I ragged my butt down and did 4 of the 7 exercises I usually do on day one of my week. The heat just sucks the energy out of me, but I did an hour at the gym anyways. I’ll be back in my normal grind tomorrow for day 2.

The weather forecast for the next week includes 3 or 4 overcast days. Woohoo! I am really looking forward to some cooler days. I always have way more energy and can get that extra rep or two that I have trouble with when it’s too hot.

I learned a few new rope ties this week at a local rope and grope get together. I’ve been meaning to learn more rope bondage over the years but relied on a few things I’d learned when I first started in the kink scene over 10 years ago. I think I’ll keep going now and again. Besides being informative there’s a nice group of people involved.

We’ve got a photoshoot for Bald Beauties tonight. It should be a lot of fun, especially if it stays cool today. I’ve got to clean up and reorganize so there is usable shoot space. Our place is tiny so it requires some finangling in order to get space for shooting.

We’ve been so lax when it comes to setting up new photo shoots. I keep making efforts to coordinate, and then nothing gets set up. We have content for the most important sites, DN, BB, and FF. I still need new models for BBW, damsels in distress, and face sitting. Face sitting is a hard one to find models. I’ve done a few sets where I’ve let Katt or Tanuki pretend to sit on my face for pics, but smothering is not my thing and I will not let anyone else do that either. I have this thing about not liking my face in people’s bits that I don’t know. I also have an image to maintain! Grrrr! Woof! Snarl! YEAH! Oh yeah, we also need to do some BDSM shoots, but it’s not a huge priority compared to Bald, DN, BBW, FF, and Damsels.

I’m hoping to get a few damsels in distress style shoots done in the next couple of weeks. I am thinking it might be fun to go to the woods/beach and do a terror/take down scene. I think I can convince the little girl to be the target. I should put out a call for other ladies interested in being chased through the woods or along the water by a man in black, wearing a hood, that’s carrying a large pointy machete. That could be much fun.

I have my second to last appointment for one of my GI doctors today. I only have one more visit with this Dr after today, and then I have one more appointment with the Dr that did my gasctrocopy and colonoscopy on the 16th. I’m still recovering from the colonoscopy. I got a pretty nasty tear that has been slow in healing. Bleh. And ouch.

Other than that I feel good. I’ve been working out hard lately and though I missed training today, I’ll make it up tomorrow. I’ve been doing my best to eat well too. I cooked rice and chicken thighs in tomato sauce today for lunch. I also ate a lot of sourdough bread. I love sourdough bread either untoasted with butter or toasted with butter. Yummy. I’ve dropped a few pounds by working out harder and trying to eat better which is cool. I always love it when I see more muscle development and less of the baby fat around the middle, vain creature that I am.

Tomorrow evening I’m going to a play party with Tanuki and Katt. I’m looking forward to it. I’m going to stick rows of needles in Tanuki’s breasts and play in her blood. How to make Wolfe a happy man. She gets off on it as much, of not more, than I do! She is such a lovely young lass.

and with that lovely thought on my mind I am going to take Bella out for a pee, have a hot shower, and sleep. When I sleep, no nausea exists.