I am a person that needs to be active to be healthy.  I have a hard time with motivation to get started, but once I get going I keep up with it.  The trick is not to take a break.

I have thought of turning my shop into a dojo.  It wouldn’t take much work; some 2×4′s and good plywood for a floor.

I must think.

In the meantime, I shall get back to the gym and swim and lift and stretch.

For much of the last 7 months that has meant not exercising at all; which certainly is not a solution.  20 lbs later, I am motivated enough to get back into a regular exercise routine.

I’ve found that having a routine is really important for actually getting to the gym.  It can be challenging to establish, but once I’ve gotten going, it is easy to keep going.  Unfortunately the opposite is also true.  once I take a break, for whatever reason, going back becomes a challenge.

In the past I would run on the treadmill for cardio, and do olympic style weight lifting with free weights.  I found that both were getting too hard on my joints.  I can still do it, but I began to ask myself WHY I was doing it when the long term effects would end up causing me more issues.

I’ve taken up swimming as my primary form of exercise for the moment.  I love the water; there is no impact, and I get a great workout.  I also love the way swimmers bodies look, and could certainly get used to having that look myself!

After many years of working out I’ve figured out that my body type does not build bulky muscle easily; so why bother to try any more.  I am going to find things to do that compliment how my body naturally works and focus on overall core strength and cardiovascular health.

It will require some research on my part; I am not as familiar with that style of exercise as I am with weights and impact exercises.

Things I have thought about:

• bike riding
• yoga
• pilates
• swimming
• hiking
• free weights (moderate)
• ???

As much as I love(d) it, martial arts wasn’t good for my body.  Neither was running.  I want to find something I can do now, and 40 years from now.

Fitness is going fairly good. I am still working on getting back to where I was prior to being ill. I’ve lots a few lbs on the bench press and I am stalled on rows but overall I am progressing. Diet is horrible. I am back to eating junk food, mostly because I am too tired to cook anything or prepare unch for myself. Working, while I am enjoying it, is tiring, and I don’t generally feel like doing much after I’ve gotten home and worked out.

I really would like to eat a lot better than I am, since I know it will affect my health negatively, and I spent so much time last summer working on improving what I eat. On the plus side, I am not getting fat, on the negative side, my cholesterol must be through the roof.

Two things I need to stop eating, simply because I get nauseous when I eat them; sugar and diet cola. The easiest way to get nauseous and/or a headache – drink diet cola or eat anyhing with sugar. Of course, diet cola is basicallythe only thing I drink… and I LOVE sugar. It is one of those cases where stupidity trumps clear body signals that say, “Don’t eat/drink this you stupid GIT!”.

Stable at 206lbs and 15% body fat. Is good. Would like to get down to 12%, but I don’t see that happening as long as I am eating like I am.

Poor Katt is having a really rough time with fibromyalgia symptoms. It is hard to see her struggle with the fatigue and pain that comes from her fibromyagia. I love her so much and I wish with all my heart that she was pain free and healthy. I want to be healthy, emotionally and physically, so I can be there for her when she needs me.

The hard part about working outside the house is that I’m not able to be at home during the day. I wish the web business was able to support us, but it just isn’t any longer. The web sites have become less of a priority for me, but I am still working as hard as I can to update them as often as we have new content.

I do like to work, that is for sure. For now I am getting enough work, and I have been offered full time work… I want to make sure I make the right choice, for a few reasons. I want to work in a place I enjoy (not a problem, as the jobs I have outside the house are all great), and I also need to make sure I make enough to pay the bills. I need to earn enough to meet a certain threshold.

Life is full of difficult choices.

I got my computer back today.  I am currently running the battery auto learn CMOS feature on it.  This has so far taken 5 hours.

I also think I am getting tendonitis in my right elbow.  I get shooting pain when I try to lift anything and I have a hard time straightening my elbow.    I am going to take a week off of using my arms for lifting and probably just do cardio and squats.  I don’t want to chance a long term injury.  It has only been sore for about a week, so I am hoping I have caught it early enough for quick recovery.

2008 will be the year of paying off debt. Within 5 months two of our student loans will be paid off, leaving two more to pay off in the next few years. This is really exciting to me. Money became very tight in the latter half of 2007, so I started working outside the home for the first time in almost 7 years. Student loans have really been a burden for us for the last 10 years and it will be nice to have to worry a bit less about them.

I hope to catch up on some sleep, too.

2008 should be an interesting year politically across the world. Global finance will also be something to keep an eye on.

I’m hoping to have some new experiences in 2008. Some of my goals are to maintain my fitness, start martial arts again, maybe travel if we can afford it. I would also like to become a bit more involved in our communities. Both the girl and I get lonely and we miss interacting with people. Our social life is the weakest aspect of our lives, so it could definitely use some work.

Perhaps most of all, I want to continue to build on my anti-grumping strategy. Strangely enough, many people perceive me to be radiate tranquility, which is nice to hear, but I’d certainly like to make the inner tranquility reflect the outer.

I am without my computer yet again. I’ve sent it in for the fourth time for repair; this time the battery has lost the ability to hold a charge since it was in for service the last time, the machine doe snot keep time any longer, and the DVD player works intermittently. Given the fact that I my computer is a real necessity, it is very difficult to be without it. I do have an extended warranty, so if it continues to break down and give me problems, the machine will either be fixed or replaced.

The holiday season is over now, and the tree and decorations are ready to come down. Soon, I’ll forget about the holiday season and will be looking forward to spring and the new growth, and the warmth of summer.

I want to spend some time focusing on what I really want from life. I have pretty much everything I ever imaged or wanted when I was growing up. I have a wonderful partner that I absolutely adore, a home, pets, friends, I make enough money to live comfortably, and I have lots of opportunities available to me. It doesn’t make sense to me to exist so I can pay off a mortgage or buy a new TV. There has to be something more for me. I am feeling somewhat directionless in my life. I have made changes in my life recently for financial stability that I am really enjoying on a professional level. I didn’t realize how much I missed working with people. But still… what am I working towards in my life. Security and safety perhaps…

I don’t know.

Lots of thinking to do.

Katt and I did a video for one of our sites last night and I was really happy with how my body looks.  I don’t get a chance to see it from various angles, and I was very happy to see muscles rippling!  It was really encouraging and has motivated me to keep working hard.   Vanity is always a good motivator.

I had a nice long weekend.  It’s amazing how being so busy for a while enhances your appreciation of having quiet time.

When I brought it into the lab my cum in a jar was treated with great urgency.  From my pocket it went straight to the lab with much fanfare.  It was very exciting to have my semen get so much attention.

Hopefully the results will show that I have no sperm count.  I am really looking forward to the fact that I will no longer be able to make anyone pregnant – EVER.

Of course there are other concerns other than pregnancy, like sti’s, so protected sex still happens regardless of the Big V.  But the Big V certainly eliminates the risk of accidents.

My workout today was awesome.  I keep records each week of sets, reps, and weight and it is nice to see each week that I am making progress.  Seeing my body on the video Katt and I did yesterday was really motivating and renewed my commitment to getting fitter.

I made an appointment to get my truck fixed tomorrow.  $360 bucks to get the heater core fixed.  Much better than the $1100 the dealer was going to charge me.  Which reminds me; I need to get the heater core from the shop so I don’t forget to bring it tomorrow.

So…  crossing my fingers for no sperm!

According to Environment Canada a La nina is forming in the ocean, which typically means a wetter and colder winter.  No sun makes Wolfe a saaaaad panda.

I am so happy I put a new roof on the house.

I have been hitting the gym 5 days a week, for an hour each day.  The workouts are going really well.  I am seeing improvements which is awesome.   I am having trouble with my diet though.  I am getting really bored of chicken, wild rice, and protein shakes so I tend to eat less than I should.  I am working on finding ways to make chicken more interesting.  My trouble is never eating too much, it’s not eating enough.  When I have put on weight in the last it was from drinking cola and eating candy, but still low volumes of food.  With a a healthy diet I have to eat 5-6meals a day – at 400-500 calories per meal.  And 200+ grams of protein (the equivalent of 4 medium chicken breasts approx).  Damn.  It was easy to drop weight, but it will be hard to add it on as muscle eating clean.  I shall do my best though.  I would like my porn body back.  You know, 205-210, 7-10% body fat, abs and shoulders…  hmmm.. yes.  Vanity is fun.

I am hoping for an interesting winter.

Oh…  I shaved of the goatee today.  I tend to shave it every year or two just to remind myself what I look like under the hair.   I’ll be growing it back as I always do.  I like the goatee – it balances me out.

As always, I tend to write late, and I stop when I get sleepy.  So.. good night to all.

On May 23rd I weighed in a 223lbs, and today I weigh 195lbs.  In five months I’ve lost 28 lbs and I feel and look really good.  I developed my own fitness and diet plan and I succeeded.

My goal now is to stay at the same weight, but add muscle and burn fat.  To do that I’ve bumped my calories up to maintenance level and started a different weight training routine.  It will be trial and error until I find the right balance for me, but I am patient.

I  like carrying less weight because it’s a lot easier on my joints.  I’ve had joint problems in the past so it will certainly help to prevent future problems.

Being fit also helps me stay mentally fit.

Oh yes!  I rediscovered the joy of vanilla soy milk.  I drink protein drinks when I work out and I normally mix them with milk or water; both ways taste gross.   But…  if I mix the protein powder with soy milk it tastes way better.

I do wish I had a workout partner for weights sometimes, particularly for the extra motivation and the help with spotting for weights.  I do it all on my own so I have to be careful not to do that extra rep when I am not absolutely sure I can bring the bar back up.  I like to avoid embarrassing, and potentially harmful, situations.

Bed time!

In household news, I went up on the roof of the house today to scrape off the moss, and in the process of doing so discovered that the moss was the only thing holding the roof together.   So, contrary to my original plan, I will have to put a new roof on the house before fall arrives.  My plan is to start the roof on Friday, and do one section of the roof a day.  There are 4 sections to the roof, so it should take me 4-5 days.  I decided to do one section at a time so I don’t leave the roof without cover if it decides to rain.  I can also take a little more time if it gets hot out and extend it over a few weeks if necessary.   I have a big tarp in case of major downpours.

I am not particularly looking forward to doing the roof myself, but I can’t afford to pay someone else to do it for me.  By doing it myself I’ll pay 75-80% less than what a roofer would charge.  Of course that means I have to dispose of the shingles myself afterwards, and it will take longer -  but I can’t argue with the math.

I will happily accept roof help   I offer food and beverages and good conversation!

I hope to start Friday, Saturday at the latest,  and work like a demon until it’s done.

I rested for a little bit and then made my way downstairs to the change room.  I managed to get undressed by working through the pain, and I managed to get my swim trunks on and I hobbled into the hot tub.  The hot tub helped a fair bit.

Getting dressed was a real SOB.  I couldn’t tie up my shoes.  Driving… not much better…  I could barely lift my leg into the truck.

I’m obviously home now.  I took robaxacet and we’ll see how that does.  I am still in a lot of discomfort.  I have no bulging discs, so I am sure it is just a muscle pull…  something only time and rest will fix.

Still… damn… bad timing…

Other than being tired though, I feel pretty healthy. Katt has been dealing with unknown health problems over the last month or so. We originally thought it was her thyroid, and it still may be, but the tests done so far are inconclusive. She had tests done to see if she had an infection or anemia, and neither was an issue. It’s been a challenging few weeks for her. She has a Dr’s appt tomorrow for follow up so hopefully some new avenues will be explored. It sucks for her to feel so crappy.

My nutrition and exercise has been going really well. I’ve been going 5 days a week which is my goal and I am definitely seeing progress. I really can’t explain why I’m so tired. I did go for about 3 nights with 6 hours sleep, but I’ve never had an issue with shorting myself on a few days rest. I have always been able to catch up.

We had our monthy party here last night, which was a lot of fun, and by midnight I was nauseous and ready to collapse. It was/is really wierd to feel so depleted. I can’t imagine that I am not eating enough; I eat a lot and it is nutritionally dense food. I’m exercising so I should have more energy, not less. I think it is most likely an issue of lack of sleep, so I am going to try to get a full night sleep tonight and see how that works.

Oh yes, I did read the new Harry Potter.  It was good, but it left me feeling like something was missing and that the ending wasn’t quite complete somehow.  No spoilers for you, but it is sad that the story is over.

5 minute warm up @4mph
1min @ 7mph
1min @ 3.5mph
1min @ 7.5mph
1min @ 3.5mph
1min @ 8mph
1min @ 3.5mph
1min @ 8.5mph
1min @ 3.5mph
1min @ 8.7mph
1min @ 3.5mph
1min @ 9mph
1min @ 3.5mph
1min @ 9.5mph
5min @ 3mph

It was awesome, and very hard!  After the cardio session I stretched for a while and then had a shower and came home.  Normally I spend at least 90 minutes and more often 2 hours in the gym so I can do cardio and weights consecutively.  Now that I am breaking the workouts into cardio days and weight days I am in the gym a much shorter time in one sitting, but in the gym more often during the week.

As I expected, I’ve been running hit since the workout.  Very pleased thus far with less cardio with more effect.

Tonight we’re going to a birthday party/BBQ in the neighborhood and we’re going to relax and eat meat!

200g of protein a day means I eat waaaaay more meat than I am used to.  At one point I was actually a vegetarian (plus fish) for about 5 years in my mid twenties, but I found I was listless and lacked energy.  To get 200 grams of protein in me a day, it means I need to eat 1.4lbs (650 grams) of chicken breasts a day.  That is a lot of meat!  I usualy get 50-75 grams of protein from protein powder suppliments, and the other 125-150 from lean meat sources like chicken and fish.  Even with protein suppliments I eat at least 3/4 of a lb of meat a day.

From cautery to protein.  My thoughts do wander.

Nutritionally, I completely cut out sugar drinks 8 weeks ago.  I have also cut out 95% of the junk food I was eating.  I don’t eat hamburgers, fries, onion rings, massive amounts of chocolate, chips, or other nasty things.  My biggest vice is that I have a few pieces of choclate each day.  It keeps me sane.

I’ve replaced the junk food with grilled skinless chicken breasts, lots of salad, and other tasty healthy treats.  I also have added a protein suppliment to my diet, since I am not a big eater and need to get my protein.

I’ve also been exercising 3-5 days a week.  I exercise as often as I can.  It keeps me sane.  I need a lot of physical activity.  I generally do a 1/2 hour of cardio followed by 20 minutes of stretching and abs, followed by 30 minutes of weight lifting.  I’ve been doing that routine for 8 weeks now, so I am going to switch it up a bit.  I’ve decided to try HIIT cardio to see if that gives my body a nice shock.  I am not sure if it is recommended to do HIIT cardio and weights on the same day or not.  I have to research that a bit more.

I am pleased with the results of my nutrition and exercise plan thus far.  My waist line is shrinking, my body feels healthier to me, and I am starting to get a more defined physique.  Yes, I can be a bit vain.  I like to look good.

The next 2-3 days will be relaxing days for me, as I have a surgical prodedure tomorrow that will require some time where I am not running around or exerting myself.

I lost the use of my computer for 3 days because of a virus.  Going 3 days without a computer is rather hellish, especially when I have a lot of work to do.  E-mail is also an essential part of my existence.  I spent muchof Wednesday re-installing all my programs and data.  Much hassle.

An extra monthly bill has popped up that is rather unfortunate and will make our budget quite tight.

We got a pretty Fisher’s Lovebird a few weeks ago.  He is quite bitey and we’ve been working hard to make him more tame and less flesh nouchy.

We took the pugs to the vet early this week for annual shots and to get Luna’s and Bella’s ears looked at.  They had been scratching at them for a few days and they seemed to be sore.  It turns out they both had ear infections, so we got ear drops and antibiotics from them.

I’ve been working out fairly regularly and am feeling much more fit than I have been for a while.  My tolerance of the eliptical trainer has gone down from beng able to be on it for 5 mins to only 20 mins.  My feet go completely numb at the 20 minute mark.  Wierd.  So I do the elliptical for 20 then I run on the dreadmill until I am done.  Then I lift weights for 30-45 mins and follow it up with a hot tub and swim.

I go in for a vasectomy in early July.  Katt has no uterus, I know, but I do occasionally have other sexual partners and I want no chance of making babies.

We’ve changed En femme to the second Saturday of the month rather than the second friday.  I think Saturday is a better day, since most people have Saturday as their party night.  This En Femme looks to be quite well attended.

My PA is one of the best sexual enhancement devices I have ever used.  The five seconds of pain was definitely worth it.  I am at a 10g piercing right now and will try to gradually stretch it to a 6g.  Once I am at 6g I will hopefully be able to afford a Prince’s Wand.  It looks like an amazing little urethra stim unit that will have benefits for one’s partner as well.

Katt has a live in houseboy now.  He is a cool guy and seems to dote on her.  He sleeps on a little pet mattress by her side of our bed.

I still need a half decent lawnmower.

I have switched from regular coke to coke zero, thus cutting my calorie intake considerably and my waistline has shrunk as an added bonus.

Our personal and corporate taxes are now done for 2006.  Eeeeeeevil!  And expensive.  But my accountant is teh HAWESOME and does am amazing job for me.

I can haz cheesburger?

I also finished painting the dark brown trim in the hallway. All that’s left of that is to paint the bathroom door and trim. That is my task for tomorrow.

Business is really slow right now. I wonder if it’s something many other sites are dealing with. Our traffic is still good, but not many are buying right now. We have to get some bald models soon. That will certainly help.

We got our first nursery booking, which is awesome. We’ve working hard setting up the nursery, so it’ll be really kick ass. Hopefully we’ll be able to start working on the dungeon soon. As with anything, it depends on having money, which we don’t, so it may be a while. The thing I can do cheaply is sand down the walls and get them ready for painting.

I’ve been looking for a part time job. There is a distinct lack of any job that pays over $9/hr. That’s much lower than I am willing to go. I’ve been looking into more self employment options as well. Aside from wanting to earn some money, I also want to get out of the house and interact with people. I just don’t want to do it for a crap wage. It’s actually been quite a challenge to think of things I’d like to do that I qualify for that pay reasonably well. I am reasonably confident I’ll find something to occupy my time… eventually!

We’ve got the RV for sale as well. We’ve had a few folks look at it, but no offers yet. Winter isn’t the best time to sell an RV though, either. RV’ing is very seasonal, and sales don’t usually start to take off until March. Given that, we’re lowering our price in hopes that we’ll generate more interest. It’s a nice RV, but we need something a wee bit smaller that gets better gas mileage. It comes out again in the regional buy and sell today, so hopefully we’ll get more calls and a buyer.

Hopefully we’ll be ready for a housewarming party soon. Once we get the last bit of painting done and the art hung, we should probably be able to set a date. The challenge will be to get our friends, all of which live in or near Vancouver, our here to the burbs. 90 minutes isn’t so far though, so maybe we’ll have a big old partay! We shall see!

Katt is continuing to recover from her hysterectomy. She hasn’t gotten hysterical once since her surgery date. We went out for coffee with some local kinky folks we just met, and Katt dolled herself up. Man that girl is hot. She’s lost over 70lbs and she’s looking mighty fine. We were walking and she got a compliment from a passing lady pedestrian. I think that made her night. She’s pretty fatigued, emotionally and physically, from the surgery. A hysterectomy, even if you never wanted kids, is still a very emotional thing to have happened to you. Just the resources required from her body to repair the damaged tissue is astounding. I think she’s doing pretty well though. I pick up the slack where I can so she can rest and recover. I want her to stay healthy and not injure herself because she did too much.

I’m at 205lbs right now, down 25 lbs from where I was at last November. I’m also completely out of shape, where I was in awesome shape last November. It’s been one year since I exercised regularly. Not so good. Though, to be fair, I had ankle surgery in January and I was supposed to avoid impact exercise completely for 6 months.  The yard work and painting has been good for me though.

Surprisingly, I have been having a lot of pain in my surgically repaired ankle. I am a little concerned about that. Once we can afford a membership at the community centre, I’ll start going to the gym again and I’ll work on strengthening the joint and see if that helps.

This has been one of my mish mash entries. For someone who doesn’t have a lot going on, I have a lot going on.

It has been almost 2.5 weeks ago now that I stopped drinking cola and eating candy bars. Thus far I’ve lost 11lbs and I eat about 1500 calories a day in food. That is down from 3500 a day with all the junk food.  Ideally I’d be eating a bit more bulk (veggies and the like), but overall I feel really good physically. Emotionally, I’ve been snappish, easily aggravated, and cranky, but that is not horridly unusual for someone detoxing from sugar, carb, and caffeine addiction.

The most challenging part for me is going to the grocery store and buying food.  All I crave is sweet tasty food and when I shop it’s a challenge to findd anything esle that I want to eat.   I want food I don’t have to cook.  Cooking a meal in a small RV is challenging at best.

Most people rant about eating too much…  and I rant about not wanting/beaing able to eat much at all.

Ptttht.

I think I already mentioned that our place goes on the market on Monday and that I have to clean our place to a shiny shine over the weekend so it’s nice for people who are viewing the place next week.  Clean sells.

Katt got a call from her lap band surgeon’s office today.  She’s was asked to fill out a medical questionairre, choose the flavour of liquid food she wants, and send a deposit.  They only gave her a choice of chocolate and vanilla, neither of which she likes.  They’re also going to charge her for the meal replacements, so she wrote back and told them that she wanted to provide her own liquid meal replacement for before and after surgery.  That way she can buy something that has a taste.  The deposit itself is reasonable considering the cost for the entire surgery.  We’ll send all that info off to the clinic once we hear back about the meal replacements.

OH!!  I entered a 45 player sit and go poker tournament last night and got 3rd place.  I won $7.  I was in first place with three people left, then I went all in with three Queens, and I lost when the other person came up with a straight.  I had a few thousand chips left, and I mounted a valiant comeback, but I didn’t have the chips to fold any cards because the blinds would have knocked me out.  Still, I won 7 bucks on a $1 game!

Argh.

NNnnNNNnNnnnghh!

Ok, enough zombie noises.

I’ve been experiencing a lot of anxiety today. I usually have a low level of anxiety on a day to day basis, but it ramps up to unacceptable levels from time to time. Despite that I took Iggy and Bella to the beach for a romp. It took one false start, but we got there. Later in the afternoon Iggy and I went to the car wash and washed the car. Iggy was not impressed by the water spraying against the windows. He decided it would be better if I washed the car by myself next time.

I made Butter Chicken and rice for dinner. It was acceptable. It didn’t taste as good as the stuff I can get around the corner for the same price it costs me to make it. I will buy it from the restaurant next time.

Katt and I have remodeled Curvosity. We are just putting the final touches on it now and we’ll be uploading the changes later tonight. It has been really hard to get motivated to work lately. We need new content desperately but we haven’t been up to photo shoots. Our trip cross continent will hopefully help with that. I also need to set up some shoots before we go. I should contact our local model friends and see if we can arrange something.

I have been reading a book to a book and a half a day lately. I have zoomed through three Meredith Gentry books (Laurel K Hamilton) and three Anita Blake Novels since Saturday. The lack of physical activity for the last 3 months means I don’t have an outlet for my anxiety, so I read a lot more to compensate. I also eat a lot of junk food to compensate too. Without my primary method of stress relief (exercise), I switch to the secondary method (eating).

I’m a guy that NEEDS to exercise at least 3 times a week for a few hours each time. Starting tomorrow I’m allowed to do weights and the stationary bike. Of course the fun part is getting into the habit of going to the gym again. I shall do my best.

Anyhoo. I just finished uploading the new version of Curvosity. I hope it is successful.