Now the update…

We took a time off of running parties in our dungeon this month.   Katt’s health has been poor for the last 6 weeks or so and we decided that some time to ourselves was in order while she was going through the initial stages of diagnosis.  We are waiting for speicalists appointments still.  It takes a while.  The two different ideas that are being bandied about are an autoimmune issue which may resolve itself over time, or alternatively fibromyalgia, which is a chronic condition.  Until she sees a specialist we can;t say for sure what is going on.  We are hoping it is autoimmune and that it will go away on it’s own, but we are prepared if it happens to be something else.

Starting September we’ll be throwing parties as normal.  We don’t really make anything from the parties, we break even, but the spin offs from people seeing the space and later wanting to rent the space for private use is a real benefit to us.  It will be awesome to have people here and using the space again.

A major development for me – I am now a reviewer at Janes Guide!   I’ve been friendly with the folks over at Janes Guide since I first entered the adult internet business in 2000 and am really stoked to be a part of such a well respected site and working with people I have a lot of respect for.  *does a happy dance*

We had planned on breeding Luna, our newest female pug, but we decided not to in the end.  The risk of complications with squishy faces dogs giving birth is quite high, and we didn’t want to risk anything bad happening to Luna;  we love her too much!  So as soon as she finished her heat we’re going to have her spayed.

The shop roof doesn’t leak.  We had 3 days of rain this week and the roof was water tight.  It’s gratifying to know that I did a good job on it.  If we stay here more than another few years I will have to re roof the house.  In the meantime I am going to put moss killer on the roof and take the moss off once it dies.  That should extend the life of the roof.

We have been throwing ideas around as to what we plan on doing for the next 2 years and 2 months.  The original plan was to live in this house until Oct 2009 and decide whether we’d stay here or sell and move somewhere else.  Depending on what happens with Katt’s health and our finances we have though of potentially moving earlier.   We’ll stay here as long as we can afford to financially, emotionally, and health wise.  Hopefully for at least another 2 years and 2 months!  I like living in Chilliwack.  Our neighbors are great, we’re close to our friends and family, and we’re so close to nature.  I also really love our leisure centre.  It is the best one I’ve been to in any city across the country.

I’d better be off to bed.  Need my gnarly sleep and all.

Not sure how much time we’ll have free while we’re there, but if you’re in San Fran and want to meet up for coffee, get in touch!

Here are some photos from our drive yesterday. Click to enlarge.

The Badlands.

You can see by looking at the baldlands why the bad guys would hide in there. Pre 1920′s there was no reliable road in or out so the ‘law’ was reluctant to follow anyone in there.

The Devil’s Tower.

We had planned to go into the park and get up close and personal with the tower but we had to compete for road space with 2500 or so bikers. We snapped a few photos and moved on. It was pretty amazing to see, though.

I wrote a bunch of stuff below the photos, but my computer fucked up and deleted everything. Grrrr.

Here’s a brief recap.

We’re going to a rodeo tonight. Katt has never been to one before so we thought we’d check it out, especially since we get driven there and back by bus which means the dogs will be happy in the air conditioned van.

It’s really hot outside. It’s a nice dry heat though so even though it’s hot you’re not dripping wet. We’ve availed ourselves of the pools in the camgrounds we’ve stayed at to keep as cool as we can.

We’ve really enjoyed the scenery in Wyoming. The drive has been absolutely amazing. We’re heading into Yellowstone park tomorrow and we’ll try to see old faithful while we’re there. After we visit the park, we’ll probably move on to Montana unless we’re blown away by a campground in the park.

Of all the experiences I’ve had in my life, being flirted with by an Amish girl was not something I’d have expected.

We travelled a lot this week. We drove about 600km a day for the last 3 or 4 days. I really like the 75mph(120km/hr) speedlimit on the Interstates. It cuts a lot of time off of the trips and allows us to get to our destinations in a reasonable time frame. On the down side, the van drinks up gas like it’s going out of style at 120km/hr. Gas mileage drops from 14mpg to about 10-11mpg. On the plus side, gas works out to be about 93-99 cents per litre. It all balances out.

We’re near Midtown, South Dakota tonight.  Pretty shortly after we found a spot to park for the night a thunderstorm broke out.  It was pretty amazing to watch the thunderstorm roll in over the plains and watch all the lightning strikes. I’ll miss the thunderstorms when we’ve come back to BC.

There are a few sights we really want to see while we’re in western SD, and eastern WY.   The plan for tomorrow is to drive through the Badlands in SD, and stop at a few tourist attractions, then head towards the Devil’s Tower in WY.  If you haven’t heard of the Devil’s tower, if you’ve ever seen Close Encoutners, you’ll recognize it as the mountain that Richard Dreyfuss sculpts.  After that, it’s off to Yellowstone park in WY.  I am debating whether or not to drive down to AZ and see the grand canyon.  It’s really far out of our way, so it’s unlikely we’ll do it this trip.  I’d still love to see it some day.

Being back in town will also allow us to focus more on the business. Being away for 5 months has not been great for business, seeing as we have not been able to connect with any models on our trip. No models=no content=no sales=Wolfe is a saaaaaad Panda.

The RV will go on the market as soon as we find a place to live. We’ll be able to sell it for what we bought it for, considering the same year/model sells for 5k more than we bought it for, and we’ve put a lot of work into the vehicle so it’s in better shape than the ones that are 5k more.

I am really looking forward to being home. In the future, when we travel, we’re going to take shorter, more affordable, trips. We’ve had such an amazing time on this trip, but our finances will only accomodate it for so long.

So if you’re looking for a lovely RV, you know who to ping!

Another reason I am looing forward to being home… sex. I want more of it. I also want more kink play. Nude oil wrestling here I come!

Speaking of nude… I’m down to 208lbs now. I’m becoming positively svelte! None of my pants fit me anymore. Thankfully, we will be in the US for the next few weeks so I’m going to go buy some new clothes. One of the things we really love about travelling through the US is the price of clothes, food, and gas. Pretty much everything we’ve needed to get has been substantially cheaper. The only thing that has cost the same or more is accomodation. Thankfully, we realized we can stay for free at Casinos!  Leila is very happy about the vast selection of diet food we’ve encountered here as well.  there are tonnes of healthy options in stores.
We spent last night at the Bad River Casino in Wisconsin. They have water and electric hookups for RV’s; it’s great! We went inside and asked where we registered, and we were told that Casinos don’t generally charge for RV spaces, since RV’ers spend loads of money (Usually) in the casino. Yay for free parking! It actually doesn’t end up being free, since we do go in and have dinner. I went into the casino (my first time ever in a casino) and I tried to find a Hold’em table, but no luck. It was primarily a slots casino. Oh well.

Tonight we’re near Rice lake, Wisconsin.  Tomorrow the goal is to get to Sioux City, SD.  the next day we want to be in the badlands in SD.  It means two 7 hour driving days, but I think we’re up to it!

States I have visited in the USA

We had the closest call to being hit by a large animal today. A doe was on the side of the highway running back and forth, obviously very scared by the huge tractors that were cutting the grass on the side of the road. I slowed down when I saw it making a beeline for the highway about 20 metres in front of me, but thankfully it did a 180 and there was no smuckage. We had a few birds fly into the van while we were in Newfoundland, but that has been the extent of the carnage (not including the bugs).

Katt is indugling herself in a 4 hour spa treatment tomorrow morning. I had the option of being involved as well, but I can never justify spending that much on myself. I’d rather buy books and DVD’s. I spend the same amount (maybe more) over a few months as Katt, only she buys nutritional suppliments and gets massages or pedicures, and I buy books and DVD’s.  I have my priorities straight!

I am starting to become eager to get back to BC. I estimate we’ll be back in BC in early September. We shall see.

On Saturday we’ll start the drive to Gettysburg, PA. We may or may not stay there. I’d like to try to drive 7-8 hours a day until we arrive in North Carolina, then stay there for a few days, then make our way to Myrtle Beach, SC. After Myrtle beach, we’ll head towards Vancouver.  The drive from Myrtle beach to Vancouver, with the most direct route, is 3200 miles, or 5100km.  By the time we’re done our trip, I think we’ll have travelled close to 30,000km (19000 miles).  Yikes!

We plan on driving to South Carolina before we start driving back to Vancouver.  Tomorrow or Friday we’ll end up in Southern New York state, then we’ll figure out which path south we want to take for the following day.  Where we end up depends on where we can get wifi.

I’m very ready to be moving on.  I’m tired of being in one place for so long and I am eager to start the journey back to BC.  Sadly, there have been no kink parties on our trip, and we have been able to make very few excursions to museums and such because of the dogs and the heat.  It just gets too hot to leave the dogs in the RV in a parking lot while we visit a museum, and it’s very expensive to rent a car or arrange for doggy daycare.
The upcoming week is supposed to be very hot.  I can’t say I enjoy the humidity and heat on the east coast.  Some dayswhen I go outside I feel as if I am melting.  Not so much fun.  Thankfully we have both dash and roof air conditioning to keep us cool.

It was weigh day on Wednesday and I lost another 3.5lbs over the previous 7 days, bringing me down to 212lbs.   My goal is 195lbs, and at this rate I will reach it in another 5-7 weeks.  I am not sure if the weight loss will stop there or not, it will depend on what the current level of food I’m eating will maintain on my body.

Once we get back to BC I am looking forward to putting books I’ve collected while we’ve been travelling in to storage. One of the cabinets above my bed is oveflowing with books. I have to be careful when I open it to prevent the books from falling out.  Overall we’ve done well witb not collecting lots of junk.  We’re not really collectors of miscellania.

It has been almost 2.5 weeks ago now that I stopped drinking cola and eating candy bars. Thus far I’ve lost 11lbs and I eat about 1500 calories a day in food. That is down from 3500 a day with all the junk food.  Ideally I’d be eating a bit more bulk (veggies and the like), but overall I feel really good physically. Emotionally, I’ve been snappish, easily aggravated, and cranky, but that is not horridly unusual for someone detoxing from sugar, carb, and caffeine addiction.

The most challenging part for me is going to the grocery store and buying food.  All I crave is sweet tasty food and when I shop it’s a challenge to findd anything esle that I want to eat.   I want food I don’t have to cook.  Cooking a meal in a small RV is challenging at best.

Most people rant about eating too much…  and I rant about not wanting/beaing able to eat much at all.

Ptttht.

We drove from Edmunston to Montreal the following day, and we’ve been visiting Katt’s extended family in the area for the last few days.  It’s neat to see how similar her family is an how certain traits are shared across the generations.

We’ve decided to boondock as much as we can from now on.  Our savings were shrinking at an alarming rate because of the amount of rv parks and camp sites we’ve been staying at, so we figure we’ll do half and half if we can manage it.  It will partly depend on how hot it gets.  On cools days we will stick with boondocking, and on hot days we’ll find electricity to plug in to.  That will halt the decline and allow us to keep travelling longer.

The plan is to travel to Toronto on Tuesday to arrive for Katt’s appointment on Wednesday with her lap band Dr.  It’s time for her first band adjustment and we’ll need to stay in town for a week to ten days to make sure the adjustment is appropriate for her.  After that we’re going to New York for the beginning of August to do a head shave with a lovely lady we’ve been in contact with.  We’ll take the opportunity to see some of the sights while we’re there if we can find doggie sitters for our babies.  After New York we will start travelling back home to BC through the U.S.  We may drive as far south as North Carolina before we start heading home, since on our next trip over winter we won’t be drive farther than Florida.  Over winter we will head down the western seaboard and follow the coast until we hit Florida, then we’ll head back home again.  Once that trip is finished, we’ll travel B.C. for a summer to see where we might like to settle down for a bit to rest and recouperate.  I have so many places in BC I want to show Katt.  I won’t mention them here because I want to keep my favourite places quiet and serene!  Neener Neener!

I think we’ll probably be done travelling by September 2007, but it’s hard to know for sure.  The future is hard to predict.  2 years ago I never would have guessed that we’d be travelling across Canada.  Two years ago I’d never have thought we’d sell our home.  Life is interesting that way!  The change has been good for both of us.  We liked our little home, but we got really stale there.  Life had become more about safety and routine than anything else.  It’s been a nice shake up.

I went on an ocean fishing charter in Port au Choix this morning and had a fantastic time hand jigging.  I caught about 60 mackerel, 5 of which I kept, and I caught 3 cod (which I released), a rock cod, and a few connors.  All I’d have to do is drop the line in the water until it hit bottom, haul it up, and I’d have 3 fish on my line.  It was very very cool.

Needless to say we had pan fried mackerel for dinner tonight.  It was very very tasty!  I cooked two fillets, one I dusted with flour and a lemon pepper seasoning and the other I rubbed in garlic then dipped it in flour.  Both rocked.

I am pretty exhausted today.  I only slept 4 hours on Friday night, and only slept 6 hours last night, and today I am fairly  nackered.

We decided not to go to St John’s, NFL.  We’ve been in NFL for almost a week now, and it’s enough.   We’ll be driving back towards the ferry tomorrow and will take the ferry to Nova Scotia on Monday.  We’ll drive around the south coast of Nova Scotia and eventually New Brunswick, and then back to Quebec where we’ll visit Montreal.  Then off to Toronto from there, and finally over to New York for the first week of August.

We thought we’d catch the ferry back tomorrow but we’re 5 hours away from the ferry and the ferry times are either super early in the morning, or late in the afternoon.  So a day down, overnight, then ferry is the plan.

I am doing a 2 week cold turkey on sugar.  I decided I was too addicted to it and that I’d prolong my lifespan if I ate less of it.  So I’m not eating any refined sugar, or natural juices, or highly processed carbs.  I have horrible withdrawal.  It doesn’t help that I haven’t been sleeping well, either.  I’m cranky, irritable, cranky, spaced out, cranky, craving sugar in a huge way, and did I mention cranky?  I am a carb addict.  I love me my carbs and sugar!  WOOO!  No more.

We’ll probably stay in Newfoundland for a few weeks.  Once we’re done on the western part of Newfoundland we’ll head towards St. John’s to see what their big city is like.

There is a great indoor swimming pool near Rocky Harbour that we’ve been going to while we’ve been in the area.  It’s on the top of a large hill so you get a great view of the ocean and coast line from the pool deck.  I used the diving board today for the first time in a number of years.  I decided to show off for the lovely Leila.  I did a few front flips, some spazzy Stuart type dives, and generally had a good time.  After the diving was finished we soaked in the hot tub.  It was nice!

We have been eating a lot of fresh seafood; snow crab, atlantic salmon, and my favorite, SCALLOPS!  Pan fried scallops in a lemon, garlic, and pepper sauce are SO good.
I downloaded photos from my camera, so I *do* have photos, but I won’t post any today.  I’ll edit them and see which ones I feel like posting.  Maybe the pic of Joe the Steer from the Acadian Village in NB.  Or maybe some photos of bugs from the Insectorium in Newfoundland.  Perhaps some photos of the lovely campsite we stayed in at Nash Creek in NB!  So many options.  I’ve also got some obligatory motorhome in nature photos too.  I like my motorohome.  I do need to do some maintenance though.  We’ve driven 13,500km since April 1st, and it’s time for a tire rotation.  I’m also due for another oil change soon.  AND!!!  I need to get the black water tank vent fixed because it is not venting properly and sometimes we get a yucky smell because of it.  Fun Fun.

Someone asked about the cost involved in travelling across the country.  It is really hard to generalize, since each person who travels, travels in a different way, with a different vehicle, and with different accomodations.  We travel in a small motorhome that gets 13-14mpg and we stay at RV parks or campsites.  We’ve travelled roughly 8400 miles, and at 13mpg we’ve used 644 gallons (2900 litres) of fuel.  Multiply that by an average of 1.10/litre and you get approximately what we’ve spent on gas.  It’s not cheap, but when you don’t have rent or a mortgage it is manageable.  Then there is camping fees.  I couldn’t guess as to what we’ve spent on that.  More than we expected, that’s for sure.  We originally planned on boondocking to save money, but we’ve done the rv park route so we can get electricity, wifi internet and work.
Toronto and Quebec were expensive to camp; even the provincial parks were very expensive.  NB and NL were much more reasonable.  Niagara falls was the most expensive place we stayed.  Of course, we could stay overnight at Walmart or on the street in many places for free from time to time to save a little cash.  Saving is good.

So yeah, not cheap to travel, in general, but there are ways of doing it cheaper.  If you have a small camper van you can often park on the street overnight, which means no fee.   You can get camper vans with decent gas mileage too, which reduces your fuel costs.  You can make your own food instead of eating out.

When we bought our motorhome we bought an extended warranty for it that covers anything that could go wrong with the vehicle for 30,000km.  If we make no claims after 30k has come and one, we get our money back.  It’s win win for us.  Having the warranty has been a huge safety blanket since we know that if anything catastrophic does happen, the warranty will cover repairs.  I’ve herd horror stories from folks who bought a vehicle second hand and had it implode and require 10-15k just to get it on the road again.  Nasty.  Oh, another cost of travel is vehicle maintenance; oil changes, tire rotations, and such.

After all that – the trip is TOTALLY worth it.  It really has been a once in a lifetime opportunity.

We went to Cabot Beach today and spent some time in the water with the dogs.  It is a gorgeous little red sand beach that has a full time lifeguard on duty, and a fabulous view.

In the evening we tend to watch a few shows on DVD and/or read before we go to sleep.  We’re almost done season 2 of Dead Like Me.  It was such an awesome show, it sucks majorly that they cancelled it.  Fuckers.  Ah well, I’ll enjoy watching the last 4 episodes.

It’s been a real mixed bag of weather on PEI.  We’ve had rain, sun, wind, and clouds, but the temperature has always been in the early-mid 20′s and it’s been VERY humid.  It feels more like 30 out there than 20 with the humidity.  I don’t do so well in humidity.  I tend to melt.  Well, sweat produsely, anyways.  it just looks like I am melting.  Thank goodness for the roof A/C in the van!

We’re having a Summer Sale on Bald Beauties from July 1 to July 4, 2006.  We’re offering 40% off monthly memberships for those 4 days.  Hopefully we’ll get a good response!  We like to offer specials from time to time to help make the site more accessible to lower income folks, and to encourage people to check out what we’ve got.  We rock, buy a membership!  Yeah!  We may do similar specials for the other sites, but we have nothing definitive planned yet.

Dinner time!

We’ve been indulging in lobster while we’ve been here.  Katt has discovered that lobster is a foodnshe can eat with her lap band, so she has had a few ounces of lobster here and there, leaving MORE FOR ME!! BAHAHA!  Ok, seriously, the lobster has been inexpensive, plentiful, and very tasty!

I’ve even been able to use some of my broken french on the trip through Quebec.  Thankfully, most of the people we’ve talked to speak english to one degree or another.  In a few cases I’ve spoken broken french to a service person and they’ve spoken broken english to me, and we’ve gotten along just fine.  The first time someone spoke french to me, I got a stunned look on my face.  All my careful preparation came to naught as I had no clue what I was being asked.  I then remembered I could say, “Je m’excuse.  Je ne parle pas francais!”  It works!  Even better, I say, “Parlez vouz Anlglais?”, and many people say YES!  It’s brilliant.  No more stunned canine looks from me!

We’re going to drive a little further along the peninsula tomorrow and see where we end up.  I’m all for less time spent driving tomorrow.  It’s easier to find a site to stay when we’re not arriving after 9pm, and my ass doesn’t get as sore.

We are right on the beach facing the Gulf of St Lawrence, very close to Gaspe.  We’ll be heading towards, and past, Perce tomorrow.  We will probably stay another night on the peninsula before we get into New Brunswick.

We haven’t been taking any photos at all.  We stopped after we drove through the rockies.  We almost took a photo of the 3lb lobster (20% of which was actually meat) we ate tonight both before and after cooking.  I felt a little guilty eating her when we opened her up and saw all her little eggs, but she really tasted good!  I do think the fishermen should have to throw the females over a certain size back so that they can reproduce.  I don’t mind eating them, but I also don’t want them to be overfished and the stock depleted.

We plan on being back in Vancouver by Oct 1.  Katt has a follow up appointment for her surgery in August, and then perhaps one more a few weeks later, then we’ll start the drive home.  In the interim, we are trying to decide what we are going to do.  We have a lead for a head shave model in New York City.  We may do that in mid may if we can coordinate it with the model.  New York could be fun.  We’d just have to find an V park close to the city.  We shall see!

I see many families that come to RV parks to spend their vacation. Thats just so wierd to me to want to be crammed together with hundreds of other vehicles and tents in the middle of a freaking city for your only 2 weeks of vacation time. RV parks are a great place to park if you are travelling across the country, or need a place to stay while you’re exploring a city, but to park and not leave the site for a few weeks? How BORING.

Oh… Ultraviolet (the movie) sucked ass. It’s only redeeming quality was Milla (even though her acting sucked). MMMmmMMmmm… Milla. She’s way too freaking skinny, but her lips are gorgeous.

I finished adding Bald Beauties to the CMS software today and made the changes live. I’m really enjoying this CMS. It’s working out really well so far. Three days at a hotel with a superfast wifi connection gave me ample time to get everything working properly. I’ll start with another site this weekend if I feel up to it. I should spend some time advertising as well, and it’s probably a priority over adding another member area to the CMS.

We’re in Niagara Falls for the weekend, then we go back to the Toronto area for Katt’s first post surgical follow up. Her next appointment is 2 weeks after that, so we’re trying to decide what to do and where to go for the two weeks following. I need to get some things mailed to me, so we may stay put for a few days next week as well. We are going to play it by ear and see how well the girl feels and if she’s up to exploring or whether she needs to relax a bit more to recouperate.

She is doing very well.  She’s got the same issues that most folks who have the band have, but they seem to be very manageable for her.  The worst part for her, I’ve seen, is having to take her evening mediations crushed because they taste so bad.  She’ll have to take them crushed until she gets to the post surgical phase where solids are allowed to be ingensted.

So far so good!

We saw X-Men 3 yesterday too.  What a disappointment.   It doesn’t follow the cartoon series really -at all-, and the plot was so thin you could have poked a hole through it with a butter knife.  Nothing was really resolved, and major characters died for seemingly no reason.  It was NOT GOOD!

BOOO!  HISSSS! BOOOO!!!

THe only good part of the story was the very hot Phoenix and the even hotter Rogue.

BUT!  What is up to par is the Firefly DVD box set!  I’ve been watching 3-4 episodes a day over the last few days and it totally ROCKS!  I can’t wait to watch Serenity (for the third time) after I’ve finished the box set.

Oh!  We’re going to Cirque de Soleil tonight.  They have dancing horses.  In corsets.  It is very exciting.

I’m having problems with the test run of the CMS I am thinking of buying to manage the paysite.  THe WYSIWYG editor doesn’t work for some reason I still don’t quite understand.  The wysiwyg editor for wrdpress works fine, so it only make sense that it should also work for the paysite CMS.  I have asked my server techs to look into it for me.  It would be disappointing if it was not workable.

Some time next week we are going to see Niagara Falls.  That should be a lot of fun.

Oh, the bext thing thats happened in over a week…  There are barely any mosquitos where we are staying right now!  YAY!

Poor Bella though, she’s had a reaction to the mosquito bits she’s had and she;s got little bumps all over her belly, bum, and head.  She’s not itchy or otherwise ill, so I’m sure they’ll go away soon.

We have a member’s area CMS being installed tomorrow morning to try out to see how well it works for us.  If the tests go well, which I hope they do, we’ll buy the software and we’ll be in good shape to get the conversion from a manually run site to an automated site done.  That is very exciting to me!

Now, it’s off to pee, and await lovely e-mails.

We’re in the Toronto area now and we’ll be in the area for at least 3 weeks. We’re going to do the tourist thing for a few weeks, and then Katt has her surgery, and after that we’ll probably go on the move again once she is recovered enough to travel.

Back to bugs. I have decided that mosquitos need to be exterminated. Mosquito-cide! Vast projects should be undertaken to rid the earth of this horrible parasite. Can you tell I hate mosquitos? Sault Ste Marie was the worst for mosquitos. If I opened the door to the RV, 20-30 mosquitos would get in the door. If I took Iggy and Bella for a walk, they would be swarmed with so many mosquitos that they’d forget about needing to go to the bathroom and run like hell back home! Vile little creatures. I really have this thing about non consensual blood taking. It’s not so bad where we’re staying now. There are still a lot of them, but I can go outside and come back in and only a few will have bitten me or found their way indoors. Nasty VILE creatures.

The RV is holding together really well. Other than the initial work I had done when we bought it (tune up, tires) and the few things the dealership fixed at their expense (2 water leaks), we haven’t had to invest any more money into it. It is time for an oil change and tire rotation, but thats not super pricey. I occasionally wish we’d gone for the bigger unit, but the minor inconvenience of having less space inside the van is outweighed by the fact that we can bring this vehicle downtown with no problem and find parking at most places without a major hassle.

I’m also really stoked that gas hasn’t been as big an expense as I’d anticipated. The tune up brought our gas mileage from a horrid 9mpg to an average of 13mpg. Gas prices have also been lower than expected so we’ve saved a least 20% based on my initial expectations. Which is good since we’ve been paying for campground space instead of parking free somewhere. Convenience costs!

Here is a photo of a mountain in the Icefields from when we drove over the rockies earlier in the month. I’ve got photos of Dinosaur bones from our trip to Drumheller’s museum too, but they didn;t turn out as well as expected. Click to enlarge.

It’s funny; I grew up wanting a simple life, and I ended up living a life I’d never even imagined. While my life has been rather more complicated, it’s been infinitely more interesting than I could have imagined. I know every detail of the last 14 years intimately, but it sometimes doesn’t seem entirely real.

I can still remember the very young and untried young man I used to be. I always was very optimistic and tended to look on the bright side of things. I saw the world in my own, very romantic and idealized, way and I felt that other people were as bright and optimistic as me.

I’ve led a very lucky life. I can’t say that all of it has been easy, because it hasn’t all been easy. I’ve made a few really stupid mistakes. I’ve recovered from a few stupid mistakes. I’ve lived a life filled with intense moments of drama, stress, and loss, and I’ve lived a life filled with moments of intense love, purpose, and fufillment.

I’ve seen the horror that is the DTES of Vancouver. Whatever people tell you, it is horrifying, not just because there are people who shoot drugs (and occasionally each other), but because after a while you get used to seeing people sleeping on the street, shooting heroin, smoking crack, and beating the shit out of each other. It becomes normal. Shit like that should never -ever- be considered normal. Compassion and empathy should never be reserved just for family, friends, and peers and nobody should be left all alone in the night.

I’ve been numb for a very long time and once you’ve been numb long enough your forget to have compassion even for yourself. Isn’t it sad that the world generally seems to make people numb, crazy, or somehow completely oblivious to anything outside their sphere of awareness?
Books, TV shows, and movies, strangely enough, remind me to let my breath out once in a while. They give me a safe place to express emotion.

I wanted to use this trip across Canada as a fresh start for myself so I could break some ingrained patterns and habits. I want to wake up every day feeling excited about what is coming next. Every day I wake up grumpy and out of sorts. I am tired of waking up and wanting just to go back to sleep again. I want to become a nicer and better person. I don’t want to stand alone in a crowd anymore. I want to make friends with people that don’t mind that I get tongue tied from time to time and that I don’t always make sense. I want to be able to communicate more effectively my limits and desires around intimate friendships. I want to be able to make it through a single day without swearing profusely because I’m stressed out. I’m tired of being stressed out! My life is good. I shouldn’t have many reasons to be stressing, but amany days the knot in my throat is still there. I’m tired of my deodorant working for 20 hours less than the 24 hours it promises!

There is a lot of time to think while we’re travelling. There is no TV to distract me. We drive for up to 8 hours a day some days and there’s loads of time for reflection. Being stuck with my thoughts isn’t always so comfortable. I will ocasionally start thinking about something stressful and I have to remind myself not to get into a circular train of thought. I consciously refocus my mind on something else.

Every day when I wake up I try to stretch out my body and breath the clean, fresh, air and bring myself into awareness with a positive thought. Every day I see my angel sleeping across from me and that is the best happy thought that I have.

You know, I don’t use the term ‘polyamorous’ to describe myself anymore; I think I mentioned that not too long ago. The youthful ideals I had around that have shifted into a different reality. We both say we’re in an open marriage, though in practice neither of us really have much of a sex drive anyways, so the point is kind of moot. I’m just not able to go there right now on an emotional level.  I’ve got too much stuff to work on inside myself before that even becomes a possibility.

The whole goal of this trip is to work on connecting with myself so I can better connect with others. I don’t mean sexually… get your mind out of the gutter (ptttthhhht). I simply mean that I would like to be able to develop some friendships that have no overt sexual tensions or expectations, and if they do, to be able to clearly state my limitations.  I also want to learn to become less self critical.  I am my own worst enemy, if truth be told.
I don’t know what I want from the rest of my life right now. I know some things… I want property so we can rescue animals. I want to live a meaningful life where I feel I’m contributing to the world in some small way. I want my angel to be next to me until we’re wrnkled old prunes. And I want my life to be filled with friendship and laughter. Could I also say that I want George Bush to be impeached and jailed as a war criminal? Just figured I’d put that out to the universe.

The clock says it’s almost 4am.  My body doesn’t believe it; it’s still on Vancouver time.  Thankfully, we are parked for a few days so I can sleep in until the dogs wake me up to go outside.  After driving over 1200 km in 2 days we decided it was time for a rest.  We’re in a nice campground, although it has way too many mosquitos, and we’ve got a full hookup (with power, water, sewer, wi fi, and cable) so we’re going to take advantage of it tomorrow.

Okay.  Off with me, hopefully to dream of life a it should be.

I am an idealist at heart.  I believe that true love is the greatest force in existence, and I believe that true love conquers all.  I’m a hopeless romantic.  It’s just a heart warming movie.

I thought about watching it because we saw the pilot episode of Dead Like Me a few days ago and it also had Mandy Patinkin (Inigo Montoya) in it.  We’re going to buy Dead Like Me on DVD.  The pilot rocked.  Only two seasons were produced, but it looks awesome.

Anyhoo.

We’re in Ontario now.  The trip is going a little faster than planned, but it’s ending up being a good thing.  We’ll need to be in Toronto by the first of June, so we can do some exploring before hand along the way.

I haven’t felt like saying much in my journal lately.  I’m basically keeping it as a log of things I’m doing rather than things I’m feeling.  I’m having a hard time writing about anything of consequence, so for now I’ll just go with the flow.  It’s funny, I have a compulsion to write here, but when I take the time to actually put ‘pen to paper’ so to speak, the words throttle themselves in my proverbial throat.

So what gets written will have to do.